You Have The Right To Remain Vocal

Am I too nice?

I know that I am. I know that some of my friends reading this are probably like, “Duh, Rachel, you wayyyyy too nice” 

In my too nice life, people usually say to me, “Girl, you better than me because I would have (Insert what you would have done)” 

This is one of the biggest issues that I struggle with. I am starting to notice that I spare people’s feelings and disguise my own. I am what you would call, Overly Accommodating. For instance, if someone asks me, where should we eat, I might have something in mind but will say whatever you like is fine. I often find myself acting like the princess on Coming to America; “Whatever food you like.”

It can even go deeper than that. I can be stuck doing something I am unforgettable to doing out of accommodations. Boundaries may be, Rachel? Yeah, I know I should set boundaries with the people in my life. I even wrote a damn blog post about setting boundaries (check it out). But it is still a major struggle for me to just tell people how I feel for fear of rejection or hurt someone’s feelings. It is a major flaw of mine. If I do share my feeling I usually mask my truth in a joke or sarcasm. It’s how I still stay charming. But I am starting to realize that my indifference can sometimes come off as fake or passive. 

I am now realizing that when I hid my feelings to accommodate others I get the emotional scars afterward. I have this innate nature to make people feel comfortable to make people feel heard, or listened to. But where is my voice? Why should I silence myself so that others feel better. 

It is fine to say how you feel with love. In this journey of finding my voice, I take little steps each day to be bolder. I still want to hold the love, empathy, and compassion I have for others. But that does not mean staying silent. My voice has value, my voice has power. The people I love want to know what I am thinking or feeling. 

I will continue to be caring and thoughtful, but I will work every day to not be a doormat. I acknowledge when my indifference hurts someone. I will continue to do my best to step out and be braver to speak up. Rachiie Speaks is all about the journey of finding my voice in spaces where I feel voiceless. My hope is that you all also do the work to find your voice. There is power in our voice. You can still be a nice person and speak your mind.