I am under construction. I am working on a rebirth of Rachel. I am learning to speak out more and tell my truth. I am learning to set clear boundaries with loved ones. Most importantly I am learning to be more content with who I am becoming. In less than 30 days, I will be turning 30! I am so excited!
When we talk about Spring Cleaning, we often talk about letting go of old clothes, shredding papers, and putting away our old winter items. For me, I am focusing more on myself! Selfish, I know, but it is highly needed. Many people comment on the outward changes in my life, like my weight loss, but there are so much more things I want to work on. I want to clean all the crap in my life and replace it with good things for my body and soul.
I want to replace my negative thoughts with scripture and prayer. I want to pray more and read my word. Replenishing my relationship with God will help restore my outlook on life. It will help me think more positively. It will also hold me accountable for some of the pessimistic sides of me.
I want to clean up my relationship with fear. I lived in fear for a lot of my life—the fear of rejection, failure, tragedy. I tend to be on edge when my mind thinks about 100 ways something can go wrong before it even happens.
I psych myself out of taking giant leaps. This year, I have worked to do things out of my comfort zone to help combat my fear and anxiety issues. So far, it has been working out. However, I am a work and progress. With each blog, workout video, and live, I am working towards small steps to become more fearless.
I also want to clean out the clutter in my head. One thing about me, I got a million lists swirling through my head at one time. It makes it super hard for me to focus on one task. I get distracted easily and can hop from one job to the next in seconds. I want to start being more intentional with my meditation. Meditation makes me clear my mind, but I want to be more disciplined by planning and meditating before completing my task more often.
Finally, I want to clean up my emotional baggage. For years, I have told myself that I wanted to get into therapy. It took a while for me to pull the trigger and find one, but I did it! I found myself an excellent therapist who is a black woman who can understand some of the things I go through daily. I now have someone professional that I can help sort out my emotional baggage.
I want to continue to work on a better me. Not just for me but for the people who are in my close circle. I want to be a better partner, sister, daughter, and friend.
It’s springtime; what’s on your cleaning list?
Rachiie Speaks 